Country Club or Not?

I have been asked and have considered joining a country club. The idea is that I would then have a "social group" with whom to play regularly and social events to attend.  However, what I discovered in many cases when you talk to members especially the ladies, is that it often is a separation by gender. The ladies talk of all the opportunities to play with other ladies and to become very competitive in ladies leagues; you can participate in ladies tournaments at other private clubs. The assumption is that if you play fairly well that you must want to play then competitively in tournaments around the state. I have been that uber-competitive athlete in my youth (and have the scars to prove it), but I want to enjoy the game. Now I am competitive, but I know my personality and I do not want to make my golf stressful -- it is one of my stress relievers actually!!! So I want to play and maybe bet a little and constantly improve but I do not need to play a competitive tournament each week to enjoy the game.  And I'm not really interested in playing tournaments with women each weekend or just the ladies league each weekend -- kind of hard to meet a great guy if you are not around them :)

At the clubs, the men play in mens leagues and usually on Saturday and Sunday mornings (then they are home in time to watch football in the fall LOL) and the ladies play in the afternoons. And, most all of the members are already married and play together as couples on their private time.  When I asked about "couples events", the folks would admit that well it was mainly the couples who are part of the club!  Hmm not sure how that works for a single gal LOL. For me this just does not seem to fit my interests/needs, but I am still considering it....also has to be affordable with a membership that has folks in my age group (40s).